'Zapiro' Rhymes With 'Hero'. Coincidence?

Personally, I don’t think that Jonathan Shapiro’s working name, Zapiro, coincidentally rhymes with ‘hero’; it must have been engraved upon him by the great ancestors of South African cartoon history. Again, I should add that that’s my personal opinion and belief. I keep repeating that because more and more people politically judge each other based on which political figure a person vocally appreciates. Like if I said I admire Helen Zille as a politician (or Zapiro as a cartoonist, in this case), people would assume that I’m anti-ANC/Zuma. But that’s totally away from today’s topic. Anyway, this Zapiro guy is a living legend in-terms of political satirists. His drawings have been published since the apartheid days, when it was somewhat brave for a white person to be anti-apartheid, let alone share it with the whole country in the form of cartoons featuring public/political figures. His drawings are informative, funny, clever, witty, and most of all, creative. I don’t what to concentrate on the dude’s work on this week’s post, so I’ll stop there. I want to discuss his latest ‘battle’; this time with the SABC. If you haven’t been reading up on it this week, I’m gonna share a brief version of it with you, then eventually get to the whole point of this post, god willing.

I’ve mentioned ‘cartoon’ so many times already in this post that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone who doesn’t know Zapiro is probably asking which SABC channel the cartoons air on and what time. Lmao. Okay, okay let me clarify the actual story. SABC 3 was supposed to air an episode of Special Assignment (this past Tuesday) based on freedom of speech, with the core focus being on political satire (Zapiro’s newspaper cartoons, the Nando’s election adverts, etc.); and how political parties and Government regulate what satirists can and cannot say. This particular episode was initially supposed to air a week before the elections, but the powers at SABC pulled it; defending themselves as saying the episode didn’t have ‘balance’. Don’t worry; I also don’t know what the fuck that was supposed to mean. Anyways, fast-forward to this past Tuesday. After SABC 3 advertising it for a week before (and getting me amped as shit to see it), at approximately one hour before it was supposed to play, a video message with some head honcho from SABC is aired; with this bra saying that it won’t be playing anymore. What the fuck? It got canned again! Now the most ironic thing about the whole ordeal is that this episode focuses on freedom of speech in our country. This makes SABC look stupid as hell for going against freedom of speech by going against an episode that goes against the country going against freedom of speech. I’m sorry but that was the simplest way I could put it.

As you’d already expect, this dumb ass gave a nonsensical reason why they stopped the episode from airing. You know how they do. They mash unusual English terms together to try (and actually succeed in) confusing you; (kinda like Mokotedi Mpshe’s reasoning on why they didn’t charge Jigga, but that’s a whole ‘nother story all together). Trust me, the problem with the SABC guy’s statement is not the politically-correct English; the problem is with the absence of an actual convincing point in his statement. And I quote, "Tonight’s episode of Special Assignment will not be aired owing to the fact that due process with regards to consultation has not been concluded”… yada-yada-yada …“CEO Mr Gab Mampone in his capacity as editor-in-chief will need to make the final sign-off”…blah-blah-blah…

This whole issue of SABC canning the Special Assignment episode was heavily scrutinized by the media after Tuesday night, obviously. It caused a big dent in the public’s perception of SABC’s integrity. Another blow came later in the week when the Mail & Guardian newspaper uploaded the full video of the episode on their website for everyone to see. Since I get free internet here at work (who doesn’t?), I figured I’d just play it from my work pc with a cup of coffee in my hand and my earphones volume set to ‘10’. At that time of reading about it being leaked to the net, I was literally on my way to work. By the time I arrived at the office, them samama-bitches at SABC had already pulled it from the M&G site. Wow.

Here’s my own personal verdict of all the bull. Now we all know at this point that the ANC doesn’t/didn’t want the public seeing the episode. The Special Assignment brand is known for the programme’s cutting edge, no-bullshit taking approach to journalism and exposing the real facts behind our country’s crime stories. The ANC have always known it too. The ANC know that anything Zapiro draws about them is in a factual light; but therefore a negative light, at that, (if you get what I mean). The ANC know that Jacob Zuma is suing Zapiro for drawings he did of him in the past, therefore Zapiro is one of the bad guys in Jigga’s eyes. And finally, the ANC know that they’ve got SABC at the palm of their hand. So it only made sense that they tell SABC to shut down the airing of the episode, or else the SABC itself will get shut down, lol. They couldn’t stand to let the SABC, their own baby, air something that would paint our President in a negative light; especially so soon after his inauguration. Whether the Special Assignment episode was biased or not, the ANC weren’t prepared to take that chance. It’s just a shame that the SABC are the ones taking the falls for this; seeing that they were stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, they are expected to deliver unforgiving, unfavouring journalism; but on the other, they had to stay loyal to their parents.

Somebody tell Zapiro to holla at 3^rd Degree. Y’all know eTV don’t give a fuck. Happy Friday haters!

The Blame Game (Nude Edition)

There’s something about private material finding its way into the hands of the public. In this case, by material I mean pictures, videos and media of that sort. Material of explicit or sexual nature, in fact, can devastate the original parties portrayed by them if leaked to every Tom, Dick and Harry to see, and even worse, share. Case in point; nude pictures and sex videos of certain students used to float around back at the university I used to go to, (T.U.T’s a university now right?). Everything from pictures to videos was leaked, so you can imagine how miserable the ‘victims’ got. The girls, that is. You know how us guys love to boast about our conquests by recording (and in some cases, sharing) sexual encounters; R. Kelly style. I’d never do such a thing by the way. Leak something, I mean, lol. Hold on, girls spread sex tapes too. The Joost van der Westhuizen scandal erupted because of a groupie who hid a camera while the ‘legendary’ rugby player gave her the business. To this day, I still can’t figure out who deserves more of the blame: The girl, for taping the session without the approval of Joost; or Joost himself for cheating on his wife of ‘I don’t know how many’ years. See? Guys shouldn’t take ALL of the blame every time. Maybe most of the times, but that’s not the point.

The other week, nude pictures of Cassie, and then later on Rihanna, spread to the eyes of the (perverted) public. Not that everyone that checked for them was a pervert, by the way. The difference is that when its material from a person who’s a celebrity or something, everyone wants to see them. Even girls, in this case. What irritated me once more was how people started putting the blame squarely on Rihanna and Cassie, and not on the people that obtained and leaked them. I for one am aware that some/most girls (at least once in their life) will take nude pictures of themselves, for obvious reasons of course. Let me explain. A female will at one point take a couple of nude pictures of herself, just to see how she looks naked in the form of a picture. I don’t know, maybe the mirror view wasn’t good/big enough? I’m guessing she’ll probably promise herself that she’d delete them after seeing them, but then things change when she falls in love with one of the pictures, and so she decides to keep it, or if she’s really fly, keep THEM. This is just my assumption by the way, so any ladies reading this should feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, (which I doubt I am). But where was I? Ah yes, who to blame. If the girl in question is dumb enough to save the picture(s) in an easily accessible place (like her desktop, or her phone), I fully condone her getting blamed. But in the case of RiRi and Cassie, apparently some teenage computer geek hacked into their computers and obtained them. Now bare in mind that this kid is probably a modern-day genius to have pulled that off. Technology has advanced so much that you don’t even have to be sharing anything on the internet to get your pc hacked on; as long as you’re connected. Plus we don’t know where in their computers they saved the pictures (probably in ‘My Pictures’, lmao). Depending on who you are, no one would’ve expected the pictures to have leaked in that fashion, least of all the singers themselves. So why are people blaming Ri and Cass? Are you gonna blame them for taking the pictures in the first place? These people are celebrities for Pete’s sake, they are more conscious of how they look than everyone else. Some girl on Facebook was like “I can’t believe Rihanna would do such a thing…yada yada yada…She disrespected herself and her image…blah blah blah”. Come on now. This same chick is part of a gazillion other people out there who felt the same way about the situation. I understand that she might’ve been ill-informed about the issue, but let’s use our brains for a second here. It’s not like I’m defending them because I’m a fan of their music or anything (I’m not by the way), I just get irritated by wrongful injustice.

For example, I’m guessing Y-FM touched on the issue. I didn’t hear them talk about it, but I can bet you one of the DJs blamed Rihanna/Cassie. I’m confident in this assumption because most of the DJs on Y love to make objective statements. Like they always have to take sides, and in most cases, one DJ takes one side and the other takes the other side when commenting on a ‘scandal’ (for example). This is in no way an attack on Y-FM, mind you. Its just that I’ve noticed this pattern for a while now. It’s as if its in their ‘DJ criteria’ for two (or even more) DJs in one show to have opposing comments on an issue, even though one of them is the only one ‘right’. But then again, who am I to know what’s ‘right’. The music they play is perfect, its just the DJs’ commentary on certain issues I have a problem with. I thought DJs were supposed to make the ‘best-informed’ comments, and speak from an unbiased, best-informed point of view; because at the end of the day, they hold a lot of influence on what the listeners get to know (and believe). But then again, its all about controversy at the end of the day. The media can be powerfully destructive, and also constructive.

So if Terry Pheto nude pictures pop up on Daily Sun one day, make sure you know who to blame. Oh yeah, did you guys notice I didn’t swear at all on this week’s post? That’s some impressive shit.

P.S.: I love Y-FM. I love Cassie & Rihanna too, obviously. Get it?

Homies & Hoes Over Morals

So I was sitting there plotting on what my next post should be based on. I actually came with the perfect topic, and then everything just changed as soon as the latest war of words between Helen Zille of the Democratic Alliance, and the niggas from the ANC Youth League became national headlines. To be honest, my initial post wasn’t too far off from what I’m about to write about, in that it was also ‘political’. But I think its better I save that for a future blog. Anyhoo, where was I? Yeah, Zille v.s the ANCYL. I’ve always ended up being that dude with his head buried in a newspaper, while every other peer of his stashes it away for in case the toilet paper runs out. So it’s only natural that I blog about what’s happening politically in this country. I wanna use these blogs to talk about anything and everything. So let’s get it cracking like ass tops.

By now, I should think everyone is fed up with how childish our country’s politicians can get. I mean it was entertaining at first, back when Julius ‘Nandos’ Malema first started being open about his thoughts on Thabo Mbeki and every other politician associated with Thibo. As controversial as it was, no one thought what he said in the media from then on would be as expletive and vindictive ever again. I for one thought his initial comments would call on the higher powers of the ANC to shut him up for good. Like how the Don would call his Capos to order in those Godfather movies. I thought Julius would admit that he was wrong, and would stop shitting on respected leaders for good. Boy was I wrong. Shit just got worse from then on.

The latest exchange of words is grimier than ever. Here’s a basic rundown of what the fuck done happened: As you (should) know, Helen Zille runs the Western Cape now, seeing that she won the power based on these past elections. The DA won most of the votes in the province, so GodZille was obviously prone to appointing a cabinet. News came last week that she appointed an all-male cabinet. This caused uproar from members of the ANC, ANCYL, and Cosatu members of the Western Cape. The Cosatu guy said something along the lines of “Zille appointed an unfit cabinet, seeing as it consisted of just men, 80% most of them white at that”. Zille then snapped back, but not at the Cosatu dude, instead at the President. She called Jigga a man-whore that’ll probably give his wives AIDS. That’s not her exact words by the way; I’m just lazy to get the exact quote from the net, or a newspaper or something; but that’s more or less what she said. Just in a more politically-correct manner. She backed up her comments by saying that Jacob Zuma himself had (in 2006) admitted to shagging a chick with AIDS, raw. The ANCYL hit back by saying that Zille’s cabinet consists of her ex-boyfriends and concubines, which she plans on continuing to sleep with in future. Sheesh!

Now obviously most people would choose to criticize Helen Zille’s statements more because she attacked our new President. We’ve all known for a while now that she hates JZ, but her latest comments proved it. Lock, stock and barrel. I mean, I’d like to think that Helen is clever enough to know that with the elections being done, any attack on Jigga from here on will paint a sordid, sorry portrait of her hate for him. I’m sure she knows we can’t get a vote re-count, like how they did Robert Mugabe up in Zim a while back, (no pun intended). I think she should’ve responded directly to the Cosatu member, in a debate or some shit, explaining why she only appointed dudes in her cabinet. With that being said, I still don’t think that what the ANCYL said isn’t as bad. They should’ve showed disapproval on Zille’s comments in a much less disrespectful manner. If they had done that, the blame would’ve been put entirely on Helen’s comments. Instead, they threw fireworks into the fire, instead of distinguishing it. My point of this blog is not to take any sides. Not cause I’m chicken or anything, but because BOTH statements from BOTH sides are equally embarrassing, unethical, childish, destructive, denouncing, immoral, pre…

You get the point.

What these people said to each other is way worse than anything they’ve said before. It’s so bad, no one is surprised that defamation of character lawsuits are popping up from left and right now. I for one found it entertaining, I’m not gonna lie. It’s like watching a real-life movie about a high school beef between a bitter prom queen and the bad boy player that everyone hates to love but loves to hate. It’s just that in this instance, the player’s entourage crew is doing the bickering.

So fuck taking sides, this goes way deeper than just politics. Those of you that know me personally are aware that I’m not a Zuma fan at all. I didn’t even vote because I already knew the outcome, (who didn’t?). But there’s no way I could side with GodZille on this. Even though she does have a point about JZ admitting to some of the allegations, it just wasn’t needed of her to say those things, especially now after a ground-breaking election outcome. Everyone knows Jacob is a player. That’s actually the only thing I admire about him, lol. Okay I’m lying there’s some other stuff; like how he’s said to be a very good listener. I’d like to believe we share the same trait. The being a good listener one that is, I’m still working on the multiple wives one. Lmao, I crack myself up.

So if you feel a bit embarrassed about being a citizen of this country because of our top leaders’ preposterous tongue lashes, just know I feel the same way too. Wanna move to Mexico? We can get swine meat for cheap you know…

I Hate The Word 'Swag'

A little disclaimer before I begin; in no shape, way or form do I have high expectations on the feedback I’m gonna (hopefully) receive regarding my blogs. Meaning no-one is compelled to comment on these blogs; whether in negative critique or otherwise. Number two, Tshepiso Thissa Leseyane is the only party to be held accountable for anything written in the blog; whether good, bad, spiteful, or just plain fucked up. This brings me to our next point in this (unnecessarily long) disclaimer: strong language. My blogs might (and most probably will) contain profanity of any form, depending on how I might be feeling at the time of typing it. My blogs will normally be long, so if you hate reading, like more than half the people I know, remember that you’re not forced to read all of it (if any at all). I write these blogs because a) I like writing, whether it’s rhymes, notes, etc.; b) Facebook gives me (and anyone else) the opportunity to do almost anything these days, including this, which is writing notes/blogs; and c) because, well…I feel like it. That’s more than enough a reason right? Cool, let’s get it poppin’ like weak condoms. Was that too graphic? If you said ‘yes’, then you probably shouldn’t be reading my blogs. But I digress. You can stay and read if you want, lol.

At this point, I imagine you might be eager to read an actual blog instead of this useless disclaimer; if not asking yourself “What the fuck is a blog?”. To tell the truth, it doesn’t matter what you call the notes I’ll be writing weekly and uploading to www.whoisthekid.blogspot.com, and also Facebook . Wait a second, you can call them just that! “Facebook Weekly Notes by T.S”? Nah…sounds corny. “Blogs” is much shorter and easier on the tongue, plus you know how (us) black people like discovering a new word. We start using it right away, with a little “I-know-a-word-you-don’t-know” twang to it, i.e. ‘swag’. It’s astonishing (and sometimes annoying) how people, not just black, are abusing the word ‘swagger’ like its air.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a problem with the word, I have a problem with people who don’t use it by its true meaning. Yeah, yeah I know it sounds cool and I should look at it as another “hip-hop trend” that’ll soon pass by with time. But fuck it. I’ve tried banning myself from using the actual word, and I’ve kind of succeeded for the most part. Trust me I’d love to use it everyday, it’s just that a part of me fears being categorized as “one of the dumb-asses that just jumped on the swag bandwagon without knowing what the word actually means”. I personally know (and have long known) of alternative words that more or less share the same meaning as ‘swagger’, but at times using them gets me those looks from people. You know what looks I’m talking about. Those “dude-why-the-hell-did you-use-a-dictionary-word” looks. Or that “look-at-this-english-knowing-motherfucker-that-thinks-he-knows-everything” look. The words that are similar to swagger are cadence, finesse, flare, and others that I might’ve forgot right now, but you get the point. I know I shouldn’t necessarily care what people think and should just choose whichever words I like, but that comes with a price too. I guess I have a problem with being judged, period. But anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the ‘swagger’ craze. I partly blame it on how dope the “Swagger Like Us” track is. Don’t get me wrong, I love that joint. I think its hip-hop song of 2008 in every rap fan’s book. Do you think the word would’ve been this big if the song was wack? I don’t think so either.

The disturbing part of the whole ‘swag’ hype is how people use the word based on fashion appearance. For example, if I rocked up at a club in an Audi R8 looking fresh as a new born, draped in matching jewellery, wearing ‘Omo-white’ Nike Air Force 1s with a pair of Gucci shades, covered in a gold jacket; some dumb ass is gonna be like “ooh he got swag”. What you wear plays a very small part in the type of swag you may have. Swagger is how a person carries his/herself. It ain’t about the way you look, period! I also believe that females have every right to judge a man’s swagger. It cracks me up whenever a dude is arguing with another dude about another dude’s swagger. You know what that word is, it starts with a ‘G’, and Riley Freeman uses it every time. Although I do believe that there’s nothing wrong with a dude praising his OWN swag.

I admit, the word ‘swag’ has done a lot for hip-hop in bringing a breath of fresh air, but I also kind of think that the phenomenon is killing hip-hop’s true lyrical mentality. I don’t wanna seem as if I’m preaching or some bullshit like that. Like I’m one of those underground MCs who cry about how hip-hop has died or some redundant shit like that. I’m just saying. Here’s an example: Two weeks ago my friends and I auditioned for Channel O’s MC Africa. It seemed as if each judge was getting paid squarely to mention the word in their verdicts. According to the judges, it was either the rappers didn’t have any, or they only had some and nothing else, if you get what I mean. In my case, they told me I had swagger but didn’t bring enough of whatever the fuck they were looking for. Now first of all, I knew I wasn’t gonna qualify from the moment I was done, but shit, why couldn’t they tell me I wasn’t prepared enough or some other shit like that? Maybe I’m just mad cause they used the word ‘swag’ in my verdict, together with the rest of the 200 people that were there. For some strange reason I think I would’ve felt better if they said I couldn’t rap at all, lol. Okay I’m just kidding there but you get my drift. I appreciate it more if my girl compliments my swagger, not a rap competition judge. What’s next? Are rappers of the future gonna release albums with nothing but swag on them and no actual music? Like that scene in Pootie Tang where Pootie releases a platinum-selling album that actually has no sounds coming out of the disc? Just ‘swag’? Hmmm. Let me stop right there with the complaining. I wouldn’t wanna throw too much of a bitch-fit in my first blog ever.

So I’m not saying don’t use the word. Frankly I don’t care if you do or not. Just know what it means when you do. Matter-of-fact, fuck it, turn your swag on. Whatever the hell you think it is.